16-Year-Old Tells 14-Year-Old Brother That His Constant Complaining is The Reason Nobody Likes Him

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 3, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

It sounds harsh, but they said that for a reason.

A big part of being a kid is learning how to do things that you don't want to do. You don't want to go to school every day, but doing so prepares you for your adult life, where you have to get up for work every day, even though you don't want to. You spend hours sitting through your sister's basketball games, not because that's how you want to be spending your Saturday afternoon, but because your presence is meaningful to her. Not to mention, she sits through your theater performances she doesn't want to attend. If you can learn to deal with being bored as a kid, you're going to be a lot more successful in life than somebody who can't deal with being bored. You will be better equipped to deal with the difficult things that life throws at you because you learned at an early age to solve your own problems, including but not limited to boredom. You learned that life isn't fair, and because it isn't, you have to make changes to create the life you desire. 

You should be able to sit through your sibling's activities without complaining by the time that you're 10. If you don't have any development issues that preclude this, there's really no excuse for complaining that your sibling's wants are prioritized over your wants, especially if your parents don't have a pattern of favoritism. The 14-year-old in this story is acting like a 4-year-old, and his 16-year-old sibling told him exactly why he is struggling to connect with people. 

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  • A 14-year-old boy who is frustrated that his dad took him and his siblings to a bookstore instead of doing something that he wanted to do.
    via David Trinks

    A model of a 14-year-old boy who is frustrated that his dad took him and his siblings to a bookstore instead of doing something that he wanted to do. 

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my brother there is a reason people don't like him?

    So today me (16), my brother (14), my sister (8), and my dad went to a bookstore to celebrate me getting a 365 day streak on Duolingo (I'm learning Japanese. still know nothing). I chose a specific book store two hours
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • A large bookstore that a family could easily spend hours and hours enjoying
    via Ondrej Bocek

    A photo of a large bookstore that a family could easily spend hours and hours enjoying.

  • away because it's a GIANT book store and the ones nearby aren't nearly as nice. My brother was complaining the ENTIRE time. "No one even LIKES books" "Can we leave yet?" "Who cares about YOU I'M BORED" ect ect. We ended up
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • spending almost an hour trying to come up with something HE wanted to do despite this trip being to celebrate MY achievements. I was more than happy to do something fun with him that HE wanted to do too but
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • he was being incredibly difficult and such. He also spent the entire time bu ying my eight year old sister saying her opinion doesn't matter and that she should just keep quiet and made her feel like a burden. It was incredibly
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • A little girl who is sad that her older brother is telling her to be quiet and that her opinion doesn't matter.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a little girl who is sad that her older brother is telling her to be quiet and that her opinion doesn't matter.

  • frustrating for all of us who were TRYING to come up with things for HIM to do that would be fun. On the drive home he was complaining about how we didn't do anything he wanted and that we must not like him if we were
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • this r de to him all the time (keep in mind me and my sister didn't talk to him other than telling him to shut up when he was bu ying my sister) and I just snapped and told him that maybe there was a reason that no one liked him.
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • My dad got mad at me for saying that and told my brother that we DO care about him but today was for me. He just scoffed and rolled his eyes
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • I know what I said was probably a bit much but I honestly don't think it was that bad for how he was treating the rest of us all day. What do you think? Am I the ah le here?
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • drharleenquinzel92 NTA Your dad had to say the dad thing. "We are disappointed, but we don't HATE you" etc etc. But I completely get where you are coming from OP. He made himself as miserable as possible. He is far too old to be acting that way. I don't blame you for snapping.
    via u/drharleenquinzel92
  • Perhaps clarify with your parents that you didn't mean you don't "care" about your brother, but that you do not like spending time with him and it is a direct result of his behaviour towards you and your sister. You're not looking for anything bad to happen to him or to cause him mental health issues, just to be treated with basic respect.
    via u/drharleenquinzel92
  • KrofftSurvivor NTA At some point you should get Dad alone, privately- and ask him quietly why it was not okay for you to say what you said but completely okay for your teenage brother to buy an 8-year-old...
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
  • AccordingSnake6679 OP My dad did have a conversation with my brother but he doesn't like to have those kinds of talks in front of the other siblings so it doesn't look like he's "picking sides" in the moment
    via u/AccordingSnake6679
  • VioletReaver Yet he stepped in when you said something, but not when your brother was saying r de things? This feels like he's already picking sides. Im sorry, OP.
    via u/VioletReaver
  • SnowAvis NTA. Duolingos ks for japanese. Since your parents seem to be okay with buying you books, get Genki 1 v.3 and its workbook. They are supported by the Japanese government to be the best way to learn Japanese. It pairs with a free app Oto Navi so you can practice listening exercises and hear the words said by native speakers. Duolingo does not help you learn, and anything you might pick up is likely to be wrong.
    via u/SnowAvis
  • Next Gen Valkyrie NTA but your dad is the AH for not shutting your brother down. Why was his whining allowed to influence the trip? Why was he allowed to buy your little sister? It sounds like the brother is the golden child.
    via u/Next_Gen_Valkyrie
  • AccordingSnake6679 OP Yeah my parents have always let him get away with stuff because he "Might have bipolar or something" and he "Doesn't remember his outbursts" (more so my mom than my dad but he's always been more of a "There isn't much I can do" kind of parent)
    via u/AccordingSnake6679

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complaining duolingo brother teenagers siblings middle child japanese dad sister bookstore
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